David Harkins

David Harkins

Dr. David L. Harkins is a social scientist researching the human experience in systems and culture. He is an experienced executive coach and consultant, passionate educator, and keynote speaker. Through his teachings, inspiration, and guidance, he helps individuals and organizations identify and connect with their potential to make a meaningful difference in their communities.

The Choice of Someday

“Someday” can be an empowering word. It expresses a future without boundaries; a future for infinite possibilities of whatever it is we can dream. As much as we dream about the future, most of us will not make the choices necessary to get from today to “someday.” We choose instead to wallow in self-pity, covering ourselves with layer-upon-layer of negativity born from things we have not achieved, do not have, or times of situational sadness, all the while screaming, “Someday, life will be better….” Still, we choose not to take the first step in making our “someday” a reality.

Self-pity has become far too familiar today. There are those who would be justified in feeling genuine self-pity brought by physical or mental circumstances they did not choose. We rarely hear from them. Those who cry out the loudest are those who have made choices to be where they are, and they will not carry out the necessary decisions to change.

Those loud cries act as a beacon to call a tribe of like-minded people into what amounts to one huge pity-party where everyone wallows together. And it must stop. Pity parties have little purpose beyond encouraging self-doubt and negativity. We do not need people in our lives enabling the negative perceptions we have cast upon ourselves.

Instead, we need people in our lives who shine a light on our self-doubt and negativity and encourage us to make new choices. We need to be reminded we’re too self-focused, that the world does not revolve around “me” and what “I” don’t have, or what “I” didn’t get. We need to be told to “suck it up and move on” sometimes. We need to hear someone say, “life can be hard, but navigating life’s difficulties help us to learn.” We need to be reminded that all the sorrow and frustration we may feel now will pass.  If, we chose to let it.

The word “someday” gives us hope for a life of possibilities, but only if we choose to pursue that life. If we choose otherwise, our “someday” seems at best hopeless, or at worst, a lifelong burden to remind us of what might have been had we the courage to take the first step in its direction. We must stop saying, “Someday, I might…,” and choose to say, “Today, I will…” if we are ever to begin our journey to happiness and personal fulfillment.

If you are still wallowing and waiting for someone to see your pain, I offer you this:

“That just sucks. I’m so sorry things didn’t work out the way you had planned. What will you do, now?”

There’s no better time to begin your journey.

How will you choose?  Today, or “someday?”

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