Open letter to the Class of 2011

Dear graduates of the Class of 2011:

I’d like to offer you some unsolicited advice about this next stage of your life. I’m not so old as to assume that I am wise, but I’m pretty experienced in the ups and downs of what lies ahead for you.  Maybe you can learn a thing or two from my insights that will give you a few advantages as you head out into this crazy world.

Laugh. Find the humor in life. If you can’t, laugh at yourself. Laugh at your own jokes. Just laugh. Your heart will be a lot lighter and that’s something you’re really going to need as thorough out your life. Carrying a heavy heart will wear you out eventually. Trust me on this.

Get out of your own head. The more time you spend with an inward focus, the faster you’ll turn on yourself.  That’s not going to be a good thing.

You’re about to encounter a world that doesn’t really care all that much about who you are, who you know or what kind of degree you may have just earned. It’s no longer about you. It’s about what you can do for others—at work, at home, or even for the strangers you encounter—that will give your life the most meaning and purpose.  If you’ve already figured this out, you’re miles ahead of most people your age.

Get a job. Unless you’re extraordinarily lucky, you’re probably not going to get a job that has anything to do with what you’ve just spent the last four years studying in college. Take any job. You need experience. Experience is what will make you valuable to an employer. The college degree just says you might have learned how to think things through.

If you’re graduating high school and college is not in your immediate plans, learn a trade. No matter what anyone tells you, not everyone has the maturity or is cut out for the rigors of another four years of schooling. The world probably needs more plumbers, electricians, and barbers, than accountants and lawyers.  Frankly, it’s kind of hard to take care of business if there’s no power in your office or your toilets won’t flush.

Whichever path you choose, remember that the first job is just a job. It’s not always the start of a career. A career is not something you plan, really. It’s something you look back on and realize you’ve had.

Figure out your strengths. Or at least figure out your weaknesses.   Gravitate to what you do well, but still learn how to do the things you dislike or that you suck at doing.  You’ll have to do a lot of things in life that you don’t like to do, or don’t do well; knowing how to do these things, especially if you do them with a smile, will make your life so much easier.

Do what you love. You may not always make a lot of money, but you’ll be much happier.  Don’t wait until you are 50 to do this; it will no longer be the “passion of youth,” instead it will be seen as a “mid-life crisis.” The outcome is about the same either way, though if wait until later, you’ll have more responsibilities to juggle and face a lot more eye-rolling from your friends and family as you find your new way.

Oh, and if somewhere along the way you discover that your avocation and your vocation turn out to be the same thing, you’ve hit the jackpot. Grab it and don’t let go. Ever.

Don’t fret over what other people think of how you chose to live life. They’re either jealous or judgmental.  Either way, don’t let their thoughts get in the way of your happiness. Live for yourself and be happy.

Be somebody’s hero. It’s not hard, really. Always try to be helpful to others and strive to do the “right thing”—whatever that “right thing” might be in a given situation. This is all that is required of you to make a difference in the lives of others. Do it.

Show gratitude. I know you think you can do everything yourself. You can’t. You need the help of others to get through life. Remember to thank them for their help—whether you ask for that help or not.  Expressing gratitude not only shows them that you appreciate their contribution to your life; it makes you feel much better about yourself. You’ll be surprised at how much it will help your self-confidence and your ability to turn a negative outlook into a positive one.

Tell the people you love that you love them. At least daily, but work saying it more frequently. They need to hear it often, and specifically when they don’t want to hear it or think they deserve it the least.

When the actions and attitudes of those you love disappoint you, remember that your love must be unconditional.  It is especially important that you demonstrate your love in such difficult times with both words and deeds. They need to know it is their actions and attitudes that you dislike and this has no bearing whatsoever on the love you have for them as a person.

Continue to learn throughout life, but remember to teach a little, too. There will be some people who come into your life to teach you something and there will be those who come to learn something from you.  Be open to the new people who come into your life. They have come for reasons you may not yet understand.

Recharge before you break down. Introverts draw energy from being alone. Extroverts draw energy from being with others.  Obviously, either is fine as long as it gives you the energy you need and helps you to relax.  Learn what works for you and make time to do it regularly. Take care of yourself and your personal needs. Make recharging a priority.

Take care of the little things. Doing so will help prevent little annoyances from turning into huge headaches and help provide the proper environment for those little opportunities to eventually bear fruit.

Forgive other people. The word “forgive” is such a small word, yet requires so much of your energy to make actionable. Give it all the energy it requires.  Life’s too short to do otherwise. Carrying around anger and resentment is all about you and does nothing to the other person. It only makes you bitter. There’s enough bitterness in the world without your contribution.

Apologize. You’re not always going to be right. You’re going to say hurtful things in the heat of an argument.  Recognize when you’re wrong and apologize. It goes hand-in-hand with that forgiveness thing I just mentioned.

“Black and white” is an artificial concept. Everyone’s “black and white” is different.  People fabricate it in an attempt to force the world into a box that makes sense for them. Keep in mind that the world is full of color and a lot of that color is grey.  See it. Understand it. Know that you will need to accept it in your life. Just don’t live too much of your time there because you need a lot of color in life; black and white, not so much.

History is important. It helps you understand who you are today.  Yet, it only defines you and keeps you from who you want to become if you choose to let it.

Always move the ball forward. The only way to score in football or soccer is to keep the ball moving down the field toward the goal. Life’s like this, too.  Keep your eye on the goal and keep moving forward.  Anything else keeps you from achieving your goals.

Don’t have a “Plan B.” A “Plan A” is all you need. You can alter the plan as necessary, but you shouldn’t change your goal.  “Plan B” is a completely new direction. It’s a fallback position when the path to Plan A might become a little overwhelming or for some other reason unattainable.  You don’t need it.  It’s too easy for Plan B to become Plan Z and all you’ve done each time is scale-back your goals, or worse still, just quit trying to achieve them.

Quitting only makes one thing easier. That one thing is, quitting. Don’t be a quitter. If you don’t like what you’ve committed to doing or it’s not what you signed up for, stick it out anyway.  You don’t have to do it a second time, but take whatever you start to completion; however, “completion” is defined.

Your span of control is two-square-feet. Your attitude, actions and intentions are all that you can control. Everything else in your life is controlled by someone else’s attitude, action, or intention.  Exercise great control over the two-square-feet of territory in which you stand; you’re the supreme ruler and high commander of your turf. While you may be able to occupy someone else’s turf for a while, rest assured there will always be an uprising and you will be forced back to your own kingdom. Sometimes those revolutions are pretty bloody. Why risk it?

Assume the best intentions. People are inherently good. Circumstances and situations can cause people to do bad things. Sometimes it’s a lack of character, although often it’s simply that they didn’t think through their actions carefully enough.  Learn how to tell the difference and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t let a lifetime of good be overshadowed by one or two poor decisions for a friend, or someone you love.

Test your fears. Conquer them if you can, but definitely test them. It will give you the self-confidence that you will need in life. Fear is the only thing that will keep you from experiencing the world and achieving great things.  Remember, you can do anything you aspire to do once you push your fears aside.

Change is good. As a human being, you need to experience new people, places, and things to broaden who you are and how you think about your place and purpose in the world. Remember this: change is never bad. Change is just something different than what you’re doing now or what you want to do. Don’t let your fear of the unknown—the root of your desire not to change—prevent you from achieving your life goals. (See: “Test your fears” above).

The 12 Points of the Scout Law are a pretty good guide for living life. These twelve words pack a lot of power as a guide for living meaningful life. In fact, they pretty much sum up a lot of the advice I’ve just given you. Twelve words are probably going to be a lot easier for you to remember, though; I recommend memorizing them.

Trustworthy. Loyal. Helpful. Friendly. Courteous. Kind. Obedient. Cheerful. Thrifty. Brave. Clean. Reverent.

Believe in a higher power. Personally, I believe in God; but, not in an old man with a long white beard who lives above the clouds.  Regardless of what organized religion may tell you, who or what your higher power is, whether God, “The Universe,” life energy, or Mother Earth, probably doesn’t matter all that much.  The important thing is that you understand there’s something bigger than yourself out there and it plays some part in our daily lives.

You can see this power at work every day if you’ll keep your mind open to the possibilities. Just remember not to belittle it. I doubt this higher power cares if you get a parking space closer to the front of the grocery store.

God speaks through life’s coincidences. There will be times in your life when situations, ideas and opportunities present themselves repeatedly. All too often, they are like little whispers in our ears that you will chose to tune-out for whatever reason. If you keep tuning-out or blowing off those whispers and they keep coming back in a different form, you just might want to start listening a little more closely to what those whispers are telling you. Chances are you’re being called to the next step in your life journey.  Keep your mind open to the possibilities, tune-in to the whispers, and you’ll always find yourself right where you need to be in life.

You are not now, who you will become. Everything you experience, everything you do, and everyone you meet will touch your life and somehow shape who you are as a person.  Because you’re always experiencing, meeting and doing, you’re always learning and growing as a person. As long as you remain open to this kind of growth, whoever you think you are today is not who you will become tomorrow, the day after, next year or even thirty-years from now.

Above all else, don’t let yourself be defined by the present. Take in everything. Reflect on it carefully. Then, be open and honest enough to transform yourself into be the person you’re meant to become.

Oh yeah, and remember to laugh. It pretty much cures everything that ails you.

Good luck out there. I’m always around if you need me.

-Dave

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